We reached the waiting room and Joe and Sam immediately went to the activity center, which were much cooler than the activity centers in other waiting rooms. The room was packed with parents and their children.
The appointment was very quick. The doctor felt around and he did feel his little testicle, but it wasn't in the scrotum where it should be. He explained to us this was a better situation than if the testicle was way up in his body cavity. Sam has enough "give" on his deferens that putting it back in place should be relatively easy. Just two small cuts and they'll attach it to the underlying muscle. He said the surgery itself would take about 30 minutes, but with prep and all that it should be about an hour. It's an outpatient surgery so it's not a major deal. The recovery time is very minimal. The appointment was over before I knew it and the scheduling nurse came in and explained more of the details. We set his surgery for September 18th.
I know this surgery is needed. If his testicle stays up there the body heat could damage or kill his sperm, making infertility an issue in the future. The heat can also cause cancer to develop. Because it stayed up there for a year he is at a slightly higher risk and will have to check himself when he is an adult. So obviously the benefits of this surgery outweigh the risks.
Still, the thought of letting my baby go to strangers and having a gas mask put over his mouth to put him to sleep just breaks my heart. I know he'll be so scared and wondering what the hell is going on. He'll probably fight the mask and wonder where his mommy and daddy are. Or maybe he'll be his normal giggly self and it won't be a problem at all. (I tend to be a bit dramatic.) I hate having to give up that control. I want to know what is going on.
This surgery not nearly as serious as some other children's surguries. I saw infants in the waiting room with little oxygen tanks. I saw teeny tiny babies that were dwarfed by their infant carriers. I know there are toddlers in there with cancer or heart problems. I know of a couple who has their son in the NICU. He was born 13 weeks early and has had his fair share of ups and downs. There were memory quilts hanging in the hallway leading to the chapel and they had pictures of young children and babies who had died. When I was walking I was thinking "Don'tlookdon'tlookdon'tlookdon'tlook" because it just made my heart ache.
I have always admired those parents who have sick children. They show such bravery and strength. But now that I have become a mother I just want to hug them and cry with them. I cannot imagine the worry and heartache they experience. The thought of a young one being sick or suffering just nearly kills me. I'd have to be hooked up to a 24 hour IV of Zoloft if Joe or Sam were terminally ill.
I will keep you updated on the surgery and all the things that freak me out. In the meantime, let's keep those parents who have sick children in our prayers.